you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I have fence marks all over my body
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
