And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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