I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
