She's JV to your varsity
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize