My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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