Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
