What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize