lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
