i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize