exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
