they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
