lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
