what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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