You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I deserve this hangover.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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