is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
