I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
