So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
