his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
