i just wanna soil my oats bro
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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