you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
