im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
