please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
