Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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