Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize