just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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