These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Ladies don't puke and tell
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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