And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
