how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize