If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
3pm strippers are depressing
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize