he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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