ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
