In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
