Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
