He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
