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She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
