I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
