Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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