I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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