i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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