Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Randomize
