Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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