that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
