Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
There's always time for handjobs
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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