Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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