Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
