are you still at the devil's house?
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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