he wants to bone in the snuggie
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
