she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
