Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
