Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize