ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
