Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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