So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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