why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize