i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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