You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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