If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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